life 4 ..~ trekkin' out ..5

first
a post script to the last post

i was selfish
i'm just human
the last few weeks have been murder
and i barely made it
sanity intact

i know my limits
and i know when i'm headed down
me being down is me being no good for anyone
and i have responsibility
being the oldest in the group

so ...
i do need space
and time

however
i've neglected others ...
i can't fix that immediately
but i will be bearing it in mind
as i move forward into tomorrow and the week ahead

a good friend asked me recently if i have 'even' prayed for them since i left
answer .. no
i have been praying for me
for this group
for this ministry
praying against the satan
praying for peace
praying for harmony
for sanity in the midst of madness
for space

i've not prayed otherwise
nor reading scripture as i normally do ...
i'm obsessed with getting past the mess
and moving on
into the newness
settling ...
basically getting my mind reset

so
please
forgive the me-focus

hang on
i'll be back

.......................................... .. . .  . ...  . ....................... . . . . . .. .

'God is good'
'all the time'

selah

today
we did church
for the first time here

there were few people
but the atmosphere was huge
the cameraderie infectious
the groupness
the familyhood
the love
grew as the meeting progressed
... i'd never even met these people

and i knew
i knew
this was me

besides all the good karmafeel
i've been experiencing since i've been here
   deja vu barbados
   heavenly weather
   sea
   flowers
   smells
   colour ....
besides all that
this was home
as in christchurch home

music
message
   which involved the entire group
   commenting
   sharing
communion
shared prayer needs and praises and comments
   and the brilliant thing about that was
   once the request/praise/comment had been made
   noone turned around and relisted them all over again
      as if God didn't hear them the first time ...
   i always wondered why we did that
   all that was said at the end of each request/praise/comment was
      'God is good'
      'all the time'
   beautiful

then we shared a meal
with homeless people

i am shalomed today

peace
and love