life 4 ..~ trekkin' out ..2

yesterday's post was rather 'cryptic' in flavour
no context
kinda forgot i was blogging
and the whole world is a potential reader

context for these next few blogs ...

most of life for me
i've had this thing
deep inside ...
i want to help hurting people
i feel their hurt ...
i never understood it
just noticed it

over a year ago
my friend
   we did a small homeless thing together
got an opportunity to grow a homeless ministry
clear on the other side of the continent

immediately something sparked in me
on the spot
a warm light flamed
and i knew
i just knew

nothing was final at the time
everything was tentative
but i knew
he hadn't even said i was included
i didn't care

i was in
everything about me was in for this

as things became more concrete
we began to plan
in general terms

and then another person was in
and we moved in together to save money
it was an expensive endeavour
and encompassed everything we owned
big move

that's the context
a friend with a vision and a heart for the kingdom
and me with my heart for the hurting
and an opportunity

the months that led up to the trip
were filled with disappointment and obstacles
sometimes fear and anger
and disillusionment
questioning God
   is this really you
   if it is
      why is all this exploding and assassination
      tripping up
      discouragement
         even from people close to us
         friendssocalled

why   ?

more on that to come ...

for now
i had this urgency
this momentous drawing
indescribable moving
within me
and nothing
nothing
was going to knock me down
stop me

this was God
his hand holding my heart
like some surgeon
in a heart translplant op
gently squeezing
firmly supporting ...
as the journey unfolded
as the bombs fell
the buildings fell apart
the friends scattered

it's amazing how much you can learn about people
when life explodes
when major change is in the wind
actually
it's amazing how much you can learn about yourself
probably the more significant point ...
if you allow yourself to learn
   that is

some theologian somewhere sometime
once said
context is everything

context
my context ...
the Creator God
who spoke light into the darkness
has spoken light into my dark heart
in the face of Messiah Jesus
and mine
is to carry the death of Jesus in my body
so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in my body
= people see Jesus in me
experience Jesus through me
experience Jesus in them

Jesus
in me
through me
to them
one
by one

....

postscipt ...
my partners in this
are 1/2 my age
they have a lot more to lose than i ...
and a lot more to gain

i have to keep this in mind
keep them in  mind
as we walk
this newtrail
kingdomward

shalom