sorry .. can't help myself ..

i know i know
i've been posting like crazy ..

i think about why
sometimes
judge my self
question my motives

actually there are only a few ' followers '
and the posts are quite personal
   i'm not driving an agenda, really ..

i'm shooting-off my heart

there are things in there that have been gestating for a long long time
and i just can't seem to shut my heart ..
.... . .. .  ..      .

i was just watching stuff on the net
   people coming out and talking about washington
   and the bought wickedness that pervades its life
and i got .. upset
again
.. .    .

it was 27 here last night
and nelson mandela is dead

?    ?
         ?

while the moneyed move in their bubbles
many many people
think 600,000+ in this country
are homeless
many of whom live in the streets
many of whom are vets
many of whom are children
some of whom are addicts ( and any is too much )
some of whom are mentally strained ( and any is too much )

pick 1
say vets
imagine ...
they serve their country
trained to perform inhuman acts purportedly in the defense of freedom ....   . ..  ?
training a human to do inhuman things is a massive stressor
and if they get to do what they're trained to do ...   .. .
it's bad
then they come home
and they have to live with that
and their families have to
and things fall apart
because you can't do stuff like that and walk away ..
not if you're human

or pick children ...  .  ..
i don't even want to go there

fact is that the moneyed washington elitist-players
suck money like a drowning man taking-in water
the paying corporations reaping their portion
and the ordinary people
as in regular citizenry
suffer loss
   think abuse ..
the minimum wage is way behind the cost-of-living trends
degreed people work at hourly jobs
and families sleep in cars
and old ladies drag around their possessions
   all fitting neatly in a duffel bag and a backpack

i'm lost
the inhumanity of humans is mindboggling
we are the ultimate bastards !
for surely we cannot be children of God and abuse people like that .
  ?    ?  yuh think  ?

we overthrow regimes
assassinate
move money
grease palms
for the sake of oil and preserving our ' interests ' in sovereign nations ..
remarkable
.. .. .   .

and nelson mandela died
and some people jump on him ( a few admittedly )
smashing his head into the dirt again
stepping all over his face
kicking the proverbial dead dog
" communist !  racist ! genocide ! " ..

someone actually asked me if south africa is any better off since de-apartheid
and i stop breathing for a moment as my mind suffers an embolism trying to grasp that question ..
my tongue is purple-ing
tied in knots ..
. .. . . . ..    .

who are we really  ?

it's an interesting question ..
...    .       .

surely those bastards can't sleep
surely their minds swirl and agitate and roll downhill aflame
when they close their eyes ..
their wealth drugs their consciences
... the camel and the eye-of-a-needle syndrome
.. . . . .    .

these are beings created in the image of Creator God

astounding thought that ..
..   .   .

homeless people trying to find some hole somewhere in the snow
   to survive another night of blastfreeze
while lobbyists dine
and politicians twist bills and laws
to pander to the $
and line their pockets

and when they're done
they move into the corporations to ply their trade
the very corporations they were supposed to be saving america from ..

i'm sick just saying that ..
the jails don't need to be stuffed with pot-smokers
they need to be full of the bullshitters in DC
   that by their wickednesses threaten
      and often cost
   the lives of innocent
      hungry
      jobless
      homeless
      underpaid
      students-sleeping-in-cars
      children
      vets
      old ladies
and on and on andonandonandon ...

Jesus said
" as much as you did it to these
you did it to me .. "

you're doing it to Jesus
and you will pay the price of that
someday
you will
...   .

i'm not so sure that ' Hell ' is as much for unBelievers as it is for bastards like that ..

i know this drips with vitriol
and i stand accused
before whatever judgement seat
for being judgemental
and unloving of my enemies

sorry
i'll try to change ..

gimme a minute ..
i'll be right back