random ..

yesterday i met Random ( assume the name )
2 days after he buried his 27 year-old son who was killed in a car accident ..

Random has been drunk those 2 days in his effort to drown his sorrow
and there's noone to appreciate his mourning ..

Random is homeless

he is a veteran of the infamous and ignoble vietnam war

we ate a hot meal together, a meal he didn't really want to eat
he just wants to die

we talked a while
mostly i listened
i wanted him to know somebody cared about what he had to say and how he felt

during the conversation Random said some things about the war
and his take on it, and his response to it
he said he never wanted to be there, but he had to be
he said he was shot-at by children, but he could never return fire - he couldn't shoot at a child
Random said he didn't kill anyone in that war - he couldn't disrespect God that way ..

my heart moved-out to this man
a man who acted on his convictions in the midst of war

some would say he was a traitor
that he put his buddys in danger
some would say he's a coward

as for me
i don't think i could kill anyone
   even an ' enemy '
i don't want to kill a person
i have this innate problem with killing people created in God's own image
coward or no

and there's my Rabbi who says i need to love my enemy and pray for those who despise and abuse me
that's my thing ..

Random wants to die

he's really having a difficult time imagining life, even homeless life, now that his son is dead

we ate a hot meal together
and chatted a bit

he needs a 32/33 pants and a large shirt and underwear
he hasn't had a shower in several days
he hasn't eaten in days
just been drinking liquor
drowning

i hope i see Random again ..
alive